Slow and Steady

This week at my weigh in I lost 1.4 pounds, ugh! I know it is going down not up. I really should not watch shows like The Biggest Loser. So my total loss is 35, I should be happy, but I don't feel as HAPPY as I think I should. I still have so much more to go.  Starting at 371 and having so much to lose it seems like it is so far away. I need to be happy with 35 pounds. I am afraid, of what? My clothes not fitting, not recognizing the person in the mirror, and how do I live like a healthy person? The last time I remember being under 300 was when I was in High School. So my entire adult life I have lived in this size body even though at points it may have been less or more. I felt like it was 300. My biggest fear is what if I fail, what if I do give up? I have never been able to finish this all the many times before. Trust me it is not fun going to TOPS(take off pounds sensibly) in the 5th grade, Weight Watchers in the 7th and about 5 other times before this time, the 3 day diet, Slim Fast you get the picture right? I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I do know I am going to try my best and rely on the Lord to help me with the rest. That is the difference this time I know I can't do it alone. I can do it one day at a time and even one minute at a time. The other thing is if I do fail I don't have to give up completely. In my past it has been all or nothing. If I messed up in the morning then I might as well throw in the towel for the entire day then it made it easy to give up the next day. This time is different because I understand that a bad day does not equal complete failure. As for my other fears, I pray when the time comes I will understand that it is what is in the inside that makes a person and even though I will look different I will still be the obsessive compulsive, ADD, fun, loving person I am now.

And a side note:
I love Spring. I was married to Phillip on Easter weekend 8 years ago. I have always enjoyed Spring in South. Every where I look I can see touches of  God's love. He created something so beautiful I can see His love in every bloom. What better time to marry my best friend, Phillip Childs. He is such a great husband and he is good at laundry and he loves me fat or thin I know he loves the inside me.

The flowers remind me of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ whom I am so thankful for. It was so much fun teaching this in Sunday School this morning. I am so blessed to be know Jesus Christ suffered and was resurrected for me and you.

We have this weeks dinners cooked and ready to heat up. We have no meat lasagna, turkey tetrazzini, sour cream chicken breasts, bbq chicken with carrots and then one night Boca Burgers.