"it's not what you eat but what's eating you"

So I heard this quote today and started to think about it. What is eating me? Well right now the biggest thing eating me is having to move but at least I am getting pretty good at packing! Also, I am scared I will no longer be able to afford going to Weight Watchers when we have to move. Interesting enough at 1st I thought well I will just try it for a month and see how it goes. I had done Weight Watchers before many times and after a few weeks the newness and motivation ends and I stop going. This time I fell in love with the program and I also fell in love with myself. I am not sure why I find it easier to not give up on others but easy to give up on myself. I love points and the new program where fruits and veggies cost me zero points! I am worth not giving up on!

I am not sure when we will have to move or even where. This is so not easy for me. I like to plan ahead, way ahead. In the past I turned to food. I wonder why I think/thought food could help? What can food do? So I am learning why I need to eat and how much. It was said to me that Weight Watchers is making me OCD about food and points but I see it as a way to control and be accountable. Not counting points and eating freely got me to over 350 pounds!!!!! So at times when I am thinking" if I just had___________ (you fill in the blank), ice cream, candy, soda I would feel better. I know that is a BIG FAT LIE if I am hungry food can help. But can food really make me feel better? Why am I feeling bad, mad, happy, or sad? I understand that I have for many years been able to come up with any reason to over eat. No more excuses.